Psychic's Random OneShots
by psychicfiredemoness
Summary: These all focus around the YYH group and their misc. adventures when not on missions. Including Holiday's such as Easter and Halloween and Hiei crying through force. Please R&R.
1. How to make a Demon cry

Psychicfiredemoness: Ok! Because I still am having problems with the evil story from hell that is actually quite popular, and cause people claim I am humorous, I bring you the ways to make a grown demon cry!

Alex: You idiot…

Psychic: I own nothing.

**Chapter 1 How to make a demon cry**

"Ok…how do we go about this?" Alex asked crouching in a tree near the fox's home.

"Uh…tear gas?" Sapphire guessed rubbing the back of her head.

"Hm…Or I could say different scenarios!" Alex proclaimed and jumped from the tree, miscalculated and fell onto a small branch and fell from the tree.

"You ok?" Sapphire asked from the tree.

"Just peachy," Alex replied sarcastically and lifted herself from the ground, "Subject is in sight! No wait, that's just a crow…Ah crows!"

"Run bitch run!" Sapphire screamed as a flock of crows flew at Alex.

"Meet you at the temple Sapph!" she called running for her life.

**Temple**

"And why are you two so tired?" Yusuke asked seeing the panting teens.

"Crows…" Alex said lying on the floor.

"Idiot," Hiei scoffed passing.

"Subject spotted," Sapphire prodded Alex, "Hey…if we were looking for Hiei why were we at Kurama's house? He lives in your tree I thought?"

"Uh…A lumberjack!" she proclaimed.

"Should I ask?" Yusuke raised a brow.

"We're trying to find a way to make Hiei cry," the girls whispered to him.

"Oh! Can I help?" he asked.

"Sure, but who've you made cry?" Alex asked.

"Keiko at the Dark Tournament, I think Kuwabara…oh! And my mom when I died," he stated.

Alex sweat dropped, "Ok…So how do you think we should go about this?"

"Uh…" he pondered.

"I say tear gas," Sapphire repeated.

"Or we could ask him what happens if Yukina died?" Alex guessed, "But Yukina's too nice for us to do something like that."

"I'll ask," Yusuke said.

"Alright," Sapphire agreed.

Yusuke ran off to find the demon.

"Hey Hiei, what would you do if Yukina died?" he asked.

"Why?" Hiei questioned.

"Would you cry?" Yusuke pressed.

Hiei only hit him instead and the boy stumbled back to find the girls.

"No go guys," Yusuke said rubbing his head, "Hey wait! I've got another idea!"

"This can't be good," Alex stated.

"Hey Hiei, would you cry if Alex died?" Yusuke asked.

"No."

"Kurama?"

"No.

"Kuwabara?"

"No."

"Mukuro."

Hiei's lips twitched and he shook his head.

"I give up," Yusuke came back into the living room.

"You dumbass Yusuke! We already know he wouldn't cry if I died," Alex kicked him.

"Hey! It was worth a shot!" He held his leg.

"No it wasn't!" she yelled.

"Fore!" Sapphire threw something into the kitchen and quickly ran out of the temple.

"Crap she threw the gas grenade!" Alex shrieked and headed out of the temple.

"So what now?" Yusuke asked as the two glared at Sapphire.

"I don't know," Sapphire replied.

"We could try beating tears out of him," Alex suggested liking this plan.

"Oh! Let's do that!" Sapphire proclaimed.

**Forest clearing**

"Ok, on the count of three…One…Two…Three!" Yusuke yelled and the three jumped from the tree. Well Alex did fall again giving away the element of surprise.

"What do you fools want?" Hiei questioned.

"Uh…Get him!" Sapphire yelled and she and Yusuke jumped the small demon.

"Uh, a little help please guys…" Alex asked dangling from a tree branch.

The two flew into different trees and Hiei disappeared.

"Haha," Alex mocked and her branch broke and she fell into a thistle bush.

"Haha," Yusuke mimicked.

**Temple**

"Ow, ow, ow!" Alex cried and Kurama used a pair of tweezers to rid the smallest detective of thistles.

"Ok, we know how to make Alex cry but not Hiei," Yusuke began.

"I'm not crying!" she fumed through gritted teeth, "This just hurts!"

"And why are you three trying to make Hiei cry?" Kurama asked removing a large thistle from Alex's neck.

"Well, Yukina cries Hireseki stones right? What about Jagan-boy?" Sapphire concluded.

"That is interesting," Kurama sweat dropped.

"Ah! I thought you were supposed be the on the teams that had the gentle touch!" Alex yelped.

"Quit complaining," Sapphire ordered.

"Make me bitch!" Alex growled, "And we need a new plan for making the bitch cry. Ow!"

"Well, you could rape him and he might cry in shame," Yusuke suggested.

"For the last time I am not raping Hiei!" she fumed.

"We could have him watch this, he might cry in laughter," Sapphire guessed.

"That'd be humiliating," she growled and let out a stream of Makai profanities.

"You still wanna beat it out of him don't you?" Yusuke asked.

"Yes, very much so," she nodded, "Oh! Let's have Mukuro rape him!"

"I'd kill myself child," Hiei stated entering the room, "What the hell is going on and why were you screaming foul words a moment ago?"

"I landed in a- Ow! Thistle bush and now Kurama is playing doctor," Alex winced, "And stop calling me child!"

"Shojo," he retorted.

She dove at him and was restrained by Kurama who continued to remove the evil plant seeds from her body.

"Let me at him damnit!" she fumed and a rather large thistle was dislodge awkwardly. She shrieked.

"Last one," Kurama sighed rubbing his ears.

"What in the world was that?" Genkai asked entering the room.

They all pointed at the blonde.

"Bite me bitches!" she stomped outside and they heard he fall down the porch stairs.

"Hm…" Sapphire pondered a moment, 'Hey Hiei are you ticklish?"

"What?" he questioned.

"Aha!' she dove at him and started tickling his ribs.

The only reaction from this was Sapphire got a black eye.

"So now what?" Yusuke asked as the three sat on the porch.

"We could tell him tales of dead puppies," Sapphire suggested and Alex stared at her in horror, "I'm kidding!"

"Well there's one thing I can do," Alex stood up.

"What's that?" Yusuke asked.

"Go make dinner," she stated and walked inside as the two fell over twitching.

"Well, it's up to us Sapph," Yusuke declared.

"Got it," she nodded pulling out her video camera from god knows where.

"Let's go!" he stated punching the air.

"Yeah!" she agreed, "One problem though."

"What?"

"We don't know here Hiei is."

"Oh yeah…"

The two sighed but ran off in search anyway.

"Hn, idiots," Hiei stated from the roof of the temple.

He jumped down and walked inside. There was an awful smell emanating from the kitchen. He wandered in holding his sleeve to his nose.

"Shojo what in Makai are you making in here?" he growled; his eyes beginning to water at the pungent odor.

"Dinner," she retorted stirring something in a large pot on the stove.

"Then what is that smell? Not even your cooking could be that bad," he remarked.

"Oh so now my cooking's bad Mr. I-ate-all-of-everything-Alex-ate-last-time-and-Yukina-wasn't-even-there-so-I-didn't-need-be-that-polite-cause-I'm-not. And that smell is onion," she stated, "Red onion to be exact, it gives off a really bad smell and the vapors it releases when cut can irritate the eyes." She turned to show him the pair of machinery goggles she wore.

"You look like an idiot," he stated still covering his nose and unaware that this tactic wouldn't work on the vegetable from hell.

"You ok?" she questioned seeing his watery eyes.

"Hn," he stated and blinked; a solitary tear rolled down his cheek and fell to the floor as a black gem.

She blinked and bit her tongue to stop from laughing. It failed and in another minutes she was on the ground cracking up.

"You tell anyone about this child and I'll have your head!" he screamed as more onion induced tears rolled down his face and fell to the floor with small clatters.

"I, I won't just this is funny, I never thought onions could make you of all people cry," she held the stitch in her side.

"Temi," he growled out rubbing his eyes to try and rid himself of the dampness in his eyes.

"That isn't gonna work," she stated and tossed him the safety goggle, however he was too caught up in rubbing his eyes to not look weak that they hit his head.

"Don't throw things at me shojo," he growled.

"Ok one, I tossed them to you," This was just a downright lie, "Two, STOP calling me shojo before I kill your ass and three, put them on so you stop bawling like a little girl you idiot!"

He hned and dawned the goggles, why he still stayed in kitchen being a mystery.

"Alex is dinner coming along alright?" Yukina asked entering the kitchen, "Hello oniisan, um are you helping?" She noticed the goggles.

"Naw he isn't and it'll be done in about five minutes," she stated and Yukina nodded and left to go tell the others.

"If you gave me these…things. Why aren't you crying?" Hiei suddenly asked.

"Simple, I being used to cooking onions and such have gained a immunity to their dreaded effects. And knowing you liked my cooking knew you would come in here eventually and so I decided to test my 'will Hiei cry with onions' theory. So to make amends and suffer a less painful death at your hands, brought them," she stated turning the stovetop off.

"You…Bitch!" he yelled grabbing her throat and started screaming in Makai dialect.

And hopefully this has taught us all, don't piss Hiei off, don't try to make him cry, don't eventually _make _him cry. And as Sapphire later found out, don't try to sell black Hireseki stones on the internet, however she soon forgot due to memory loss on Hiei's part. And now she'll never know where those fist shaped bruises came from…

**End story**

Psychic: Not bad for a one shot I suppose. Please tell me what you guys thought, thanks and peace out…I still can't think of anything from the story with the really long title, so ideas are still welcome on it. Later.


	2. Valentines

Psychicfiredemoness: Ok well, I was gonna post the St. Patrick's day one but NO it HAD to be deleted from the damn computer, er so I'm just making a crap load of one-shots, some will be holidays so be warned.

Alex: You are so damned stupid...

Psychic: Shut up, I own nothing.

**Chapter 2 Valentines Day**

**Genkai's Temple**

"Why are we here again?" Yusuke asked.

"To bring joy to the little people, ain't that right Hiei," Alex stated.

"I'm taller then you are," he retorted.

"… shut up!" she growled.

"Happy Valentine's day," Yukina said coming into the room in a pink kimono and red obi.

"Will you be my Valentine Yukina?" Kuwabara asked with hearts all over.

Hiei had smoke coming off his head.

"Of course Kazuma," she replied and Alex, Yusuke, Sapphire, and Kayori had to hold him done.

"Hello!" Botan stated coming into the room in a tanktop sleeved white dress with a red heart pattern and red heels she also was carrying several plastic bags.

"What the hell's with all the bags?" Yusuke asked.

She got a box of chocolates and threw one to each of them.

"Happy Valentine's day," she stated.

"What are you giving Koenma?" Yusuke smirked with a perverted air to his voice.

She hit him with her oar.

"You pervert!" she screamed.

"Yeah we already know she conceived his spawn," Alex said.

She turned blue, "did you have to say it like that?"

"So you _did _conceive his child?" Sapphire asked.

"No!" she screamed blushing and stormed from the room.

"It's fun to cause hell," Sapphire stated.

They heard hurried footsteps outside and Kurama ran through the doors closing them quickly and he was panting heavily with a huge sack.. He slid to the floor trying to catch his breath.

"What the hell happened to you?" Sapphire asked.

His clothes were all severely torn.

"Fan girls," he panted and pointed at the sack, "compliments of them."

He fell backward still trying to breathe properly.

"Watch and learn," Alex stated, "Kurama I know CPR."

And all of a sudden was gone.

"You bastard! I'm not that ugly!" she yelled.

"Yes you are," Hiei mumbled.

"Asshole," she snapped.

"Bitch," she replied.

"Whore."

"Slut," Yusuke said and they looked at him, "I just wanted to feel loved."

"Idiot," they muttered and glared at each other.

"Yusuke! What was the meaning of the graffiti on my locker?" Keiko asked coming into the temple.

"What are you talking about?" he asked nervously.

"You spray painted a heart on my locker!" she yelled in a red dress, "I got intotrouble because of it!"

"Yes, but the important thing is you can't prove it," he stated.

"I saw you doing it!" she screamed in his face.

He took the opportunity and kissed her then ran like hell.

"Happy Valentine's day Keiko," he yelled as she chased him and was redder then her dress.

After a moment they all heard several slaps.

"Ow," the girls said.

"Foolish detective," Hiei scoffed.

"Yep. Now my gifts of doom!" Alex screamed and left the room then came back to the sweat dropping teens all of which were now in the living room with a few bags.

Out of one she pulled a large box of sweet snow with a red ribbon on it and Hiei was almost drooling. She threw at him, literally.

"So… what _else_ are you giving him tonight?" Yusuke asked grinning.

"Pervert! He's yours happy Valentine's!" She threw a chocolate bar at his face.

She then proceeded to giving everyone else a large candy bar, well mostly everyone.

"Why didn't I get anything?" Kuwabara asked.

"Because we hate you," Hiei said while gorging on his sweet snow.

"Hey!" he growled, "you wanna fight!"

"You aren't worth it," he stated looking up from his frozen treat covered in it.

"He ate all that in like…five seconds," Alex twitched then mysteriously had a wet rag, "oh Hiei…"

He looked over and she tackled him and started scrubbing his face with the cloth.

"The power of Turpen Tine compels you damnit!" she screamed.

"Isn't that stuff poisonous?" Yusuke asked.

"So?" she asked as Hiei flailed under her, "and it's soapy water."

He threw her off and was rubbing his eyes from the soap.

"Stupid shojo!" he screamed trying to get rid of the soap.

"Run bitch run!" Sapphire yelled throwing Alex outside and she fell down the many, many stairs after bowling down Kurama's many, many fan girls.

"Well who wants cake?" Kayori asked as Sapphire dusted her hands off and Yukina helped clean Hiei's soapy eyes.

"Cake?" They all asked.

She nodded and brought out a slice of vanilla cake with pink frosting. The others shrugged and headed into the kitchen to help themselves to the food while Alex was in pain at the bottom of all of Genkai's stairs.

**End Chapter**

Psychic: Well there you have it. Any other random One-Shots does anyone want?


	3. The Exorcism of Alex Jaganshi

Psychicfiredemoness: Oh this will be good!

Hiei: Hn.

Alex: It's your fault Hiei.

Hiei: Hn

Psychic: I own nothing.

**Chapter 3 The Exorcism of Alex Jaganshi (Not based on Emily Rose)**

"Hiei! For the last time! Get out of my house!" Alex screamed at the slightly taller demon.

"No," he replied from her couch.

"Can't you live with Kurama!" she fumed.

"I could, but his mother is there, and you live alone child," he retorted.

"You suck!" she yelled.

"Hn," he replied.

"Go live in the tree!" she ordered.

"No," he stated.

"Ah!" she screamed and he chuckled at her misery, "I will make you leave Jagan-boy!"

"Try," he challenged.

"You'll see!" she growled and threw open her bedroom door then tripped down all the stairs because she was going through the phase of living in her own basement.

"Idiot," he stated reclining into the couch cushions.

**Catholic Church**

Alex approached the priest at the alter in a long sleeve button up white dress that went down to her ankles to appear as a Catholic School Girl!

"Come my child," the priest motioned for the small blonde.

"Father I have a problem concerning the supernatural," she said bowing slightly.

"Oh? A spirit resides at your home?" he asked.

"Not exactly, something a bit worse I'm afraid," she stated and pretended to wipe a tear from her eye.

"What is it my dear?" questioned the priest.

"A demon has taken up residence at my home and if I force him to leave I fear he will kill me," she sighed and had to stop herself from twitching.

"Him?" he asked, "Are you sure it's a him?"

"Yes, quite sure," she replied.

"How do you-" he began.

"Please trust me when I say the demon is a male," she cut in and dark thoughts on what this demon must have done flooded his mind.

'This guy's sick!' Alex read his mind.

"But I beg of you to please perform an exorcism at my home," she faked a weak tone to plead.

"Of course, I'll be able to tomorrow night around 9, the creature should be most powerful then," he replied.

"Alright," she bowed in thanks, "Thank you." She turned to walk away.

"But please tell your parents when I'll be over," he called.

"My parents? Of, of course!" she stated and knew this would be a problem.

**Pay phone; mile away from Alex's house**

"Pick up, pick up! Damnit Sapphire pick the hell up!" Alex screamed back in her traditional pink shirt and black pants before slamming the phone down.

"What are you screaming about?" she turned to find the ice hanyou and the fox.

"Sapphire!" Alex hugged her best friend, "I need you two to help me tomorrow at nine!"

"Why?" Kurama inquired.

"It involves getting Hiei out of my house," she replied.

"I'm in," Sapphire said eating some Pocky.

"Ok, but you have to pretend to be my mother," Alex stated.

"Why?" Sapphire asked.

"Because it's an exorcism…" She replied nervously.

"And I suppose you wanted me to play the father?" Kurama asked.

"Yes, would you mind?" Alex asked, 'I'd ask my real family but that would bring…complications and they'd most likely capture me to give to Temi." She started twitching.

"Alright," Kurama agreed.

"Alright, be at my house at 7 tomorrow night," she stated.

"Alright," they both agreed.

"But where…parenting clothes," she added and ran off to her house.

**Alex's house**

"Hahaha!" Alex let out panting as she entered her home.

"What are you so happy about?" Hiei questioned entering the room with a sandwich.

"Have you been going through my things again?" she asked.

"Maybe," he replied.

"Fridge?" she asked.

"Yes," he replied

"Freezer?"

"Yes."

"Pantry?"

"Yes."

"Cupboards?"

"Yes."

"Panty draw?"

"Yes."

"What! You pervert!" she shrieked.

He then realized what he had said and went red, "No!"

"Sure," she replied and walked into the kitchen.

**Next night; 8 pm**

"Hey Alex," Sapphire came down stairs, "What's up in the attic?"

The small blonde was in her Catholic School Girl dress once more, "Why do you ask?"

"I heard something up there," she replied.

"Oh, it's Hiei," she stated.

"Why is he locked in the attic?" she blinked.

"I put some sweet snow up there and locked him in, it's so he gives off the, 'I'm a demon haunting Alex in her attic' thing," she shrugged.

"He's going to attack you when he's it out," Kurama said in a suit and tie to give off the business man look while Sapphire wore a t-shirt and jeans that were spotted with flour to give off a motherly look.

And to heighten this effect there was a stack of freshly baked brownies sitting out on the kitchen counter. Sapphire hadn't baked these of course because Alex no longer trusted her in the kitchen, instead the little demon had.

"Can I have a brownie now?" Sapphire asked.

"No, they're set out perfectly. Everything must go as planned," Alex stated.

"You made eight batches!" she growled.

"Oh, ok, eat the ones out of the pan though, the ones on the plate are for later," she stated.

"Cool," Sapphire entered the kitchen.

"May I also-" Kurama began and Alex nodded, he too entered the kitchen.

"Ah, tis good when I cook," She grinned, "Hey save a brownie for a peace offering to Hiei before he kills me!"

"Ok!" Sapphire called back.

There was a knock at the door. She ran out and answered it to find Yusuke, Keiko, Kuwabara, and Yukina.

"What are you four doing here!" she shrieked.

"We can't visit?" Yukina asked.

"No, of course you can, just today's a bad day, there's going to be an exorcism here in about twenty minutes," she sighed, "I take it you're here to visit Hiei?"

She nodded, "If he's here I know where he is." She smiled and Alex sulked in a corner for about a minute.

"What's that all about?" Sapphire asked coming out with a brownie.

"She feels remorse of doing this to Yukina," Kurama said.

"Why are you two dressed like that with brownies? Did we miss something fun?" Kuwabara asked.

"No, Alex got a priest to come over to get Hiei out of the house," Sapphire stated finishing the brownie.

"Is that going to hurt oniisan?" Yukina asked, "Why do you want him out?"

"He's a pain, he bugs me, and never leaves me the hell alone! Why can't he live in the tree again!" she fumed.

Another knock at the door.

"Crap! You four to the basement!" Alex ordered and the others did so.

"Hello father," Kurama greeted the priest at the door, "Please come in."

"Why thank you Mr.…" the priest stopped.

"Minamino, this is my wife Sapphire," he began and he heard muffled laughter from Alex, "And I believe you've met our daughter, _Adora_."

Alex stopped her laughing and turned blue at being given her sisters name.

"Adora dear please show father where the demon has taken up residence," Kurama instructed.

"Yes father," she replied resisting the urge to kill the thief.

She led the priest upstairs and Sapphire let the four out of the basement to grab some brownies before leading them back into Alex's room.

**Upstairs**

"Are you sure the demon is up here?" the priest asked as Alex led him to the attic.

"Yes, quite sure," she replied, "You might want to stand back father."

The priest nodded and stood away from the door as she opened it. There was a deadly silence that fell and Alex was running down the three flights if stairs.

"Ah! Ku- Mom, dad the demon's after me again!" she screamed hopping down the last flight and hid behind Sapphire.

"Oh dear," Sapphire stated in a mock mother's voice.

"Whatever shall we do?" Kurama asked.

"Hanyou, move," Hiei growled brandishing his katana.

"Oh but I am protecting our precious daughter Adora," Sapphire hugged Alex's head.

Suddenly something hit the back of Hiei's head and they saw the priest had thrown a holy bible at the demon.

"Who the hell is he?" he questioned rubbing his head.

"Why didn't that work!" the priest gasped.

"Is he human?" Hiei asked.

"Yes," Kurama answered.

"Damn, then I can't kill him," Hiei scoffed, "But the shojo I can, so move."

"Ok. It was fun Alex," Sapphire stepped away from her shortest friend.

"Thanks Sapphire," Alex twitched.

"What's going on here!" the priest yelled.

"The demon is going to make her into a woman!" Yusuke proclaimed having come up stairs from the basement.

"What!" the priest pulled out a vial of water and splashed it on Hiei, "The power of Christ compels you!"

Hiei slashed at the man and cut his robe…thing open.

"Stay out of this fool," Hiei growled and turned on Alex.

"Where'd she go?" Sapphire asked.

Something flew from the kitchen and hit Hiei, he started sneezing and coughing.

"Garlic Powder wins again," Alex stated and then turned to the priest.

His eyes glazed over and he walked all the way back to the church not knowing what he'd done all that day.

"As does the Jagan," she stated dusting her hands off.

She got tackled from behind and got involved in a brawl with Hiei. The others just watched this while eating Alex's brownies.

"Ok it doesn't look like you two are fighting anymore," Sapphire stated.

"Then get him off of me!" Alex yelled being strangled underneath the taller demon.

"Oh but you're fun to watch," Yusuke commented.

"You bitch!" she chocked.

**End chapter**

Psychic: Haha Alex.

Alex: Screw you bitch!

Psychic: No…

Sapphire: Yeah, it's Hiei's job.

Psychic: For me or her?

Yusuke: Is there a difference?

Both: Shut up! Please review!


	4. Easter Special

Psychicfiredemoness: Happy Easter ya'll!

Alex: (eating candy)

Psychic: Yes, she has the right idea for the most part.

Hiei: (Eating eggs)

Psychic: This is…weird.

Demons: (still eating)

Psychic: Ok then! I own nothing.

**Chapter 4 Easter**

"So…what are we doing at the mall? On _Easter_?" Sapphire questioned as she and the five other detectives walked through the mall on the oh-so-lovely Sunday mid-morn.

Yusuke shrugged, "We just wanted to."

"But that is so incredible stupid, do you not see how crowded it is here?" Alex questioned pointing at the countless humans and their children.

"Then why'd you come?" Kuwabara asked.

"It was that or cater to tree boy that lives with female Jaganshi," she stated.

"I thought you got a restraining order on that?" Kurama asked.

"Like Hiei would listen to a restraining order," she pointed to the demon that walked three feet away from her.

"She does have a point," Sapphire agreed, "Hey let's see if Koenma will give her one! You know, especially after the priest thing happened."

"Good point," Alex grinned and pulled out her communication mirror, "Let us see. Or Kurama could you please make him live with you?"

"No I'm sorry," he put his hands up in case she tried to attack him.

"Damn you fox!" she yelled and a man dressed in a bunny suit walked over and tied a balloon to her accusing wrist, then to Hiei hair, then walked away.

"Is it a crime to kill a giant animal?" Hiei question popping the balloon with his Jagan.

"That was a human in costume Hiei," Yusuke said.

"You think there's a difference to me?" he retorted.

"You can't kill the annoying human," Alex said and shoved a hard-boiled egg into his mouth, "So where we going?"

"Food court," the others replied.

**Food Court**

"All they're serving is eggs!" Sapphire fumed coming back to the table the others sat at, eating there eggs, minus Alex who had the sense to bring her own food.

"What's wrong with eggs?" Yusuke asked eating his.

"I hate them, I hate them so much!" she fumed.

"You're making Peeps feel bad," Alex said and was holding a Harvest Moon looking chicken and was stroking its feathers gently.

The others sweat dropped.

"Where did that thing come from?" Kuwabara asked.

"An egg," Alex replied hugging the cute little chicken.

"You're really an idiot," Hiei said, glaring at his own egg and refusing to eat it.

"Eat it, eggs are good for you," she stated.

"Minus all the cholesterol," Kurama stated.

"You're ruining things again Kurama," Alex growled.

"Hn. I'd rather have chicken," Hiei stated staring at Peeps.

"Fly Peeps fly!" Alex yelled and the chicken flew off to somewhere else in the mall, no it literally flew!

"I thought chickens couldn't fly," Kuwabara scratched his head.

"Peeps is a magical chicken," Alex stated.

They stared at her and an egg fell on top of Hiei's head and splattered the yolk and membrane everywhere in his hair. He looked up to see Alex's chicken flying above him and cawing mockingly.

"Child, the chicken is going to die," he drew his sword and lunged at the bird.

"No!" Alex screamed and dove at the demon causing the two of them to fly onto a table and then fall on the other side of it, "Fly Peeps! Fly!"

The chicken went to the second floor.

"Haha! No chicken for you Hiei!" she declared and he slammed her face into the linoleum floor.

"Great, he killed her," Yusuke said as Sapphire sat her dead looking friend in a chair and Hiei continued to glare at the egg on his plate.

"I think she really is dead this time," Sapphire poked the smallest demon and she fell onto the table.

"Hiei you're a dead man!" she screamed coming back to consciousness and lunged at him, strangling the taller demon who strangled her back and the two rolled around on the floor like that until a security guard saw this and kicked them out of the mall for the day and told them that children should not fight.

"Well, that was interesting, let's go buy day old candy!" Yusuke declared and the others left for the candy store.

**Next day**

Alex walked out of her house in a pink robe to go get her newspaper and saw Sapphire and Yusuke sprawled out on her front lawn with candy wrappers all around them, they also were damp because she'd had the sprinklers on.

"What the hell are you two doing here?" Alex questioned picking up the paper as Peep's flew over and rest on top of her hair.

They both twitched and groaned. She rolled her eyes, used her Jagan to lift up about a fourth of the water in her pool, brought it over and dropped in on the two while she stayed on top of the railing of her Jeep. They both screamed.

"Ah! What the hell!" Yusuke chocked sitting up and gagging out water.

"I hope you two are happy, now I have to fill up my pool again. And what are you two doing out here, shouldn't you be home or something?" she questioned.

"We ate a bunch of candy yesterday and wandered around town for a while, and then I guess we came here and crashed on the lawn," Sapphire said.

"That's nice," Alex stated sarcastically

"What's going on out here?" Hiei asked walking out without a shirt on.

"Get back in the house!" Alex ordered.

The other two then looked back and forth from the demons.

"So that's why Hiei lives here," Sapphire smirked.

"That isn't why Hiei lives here!" Alex fumed and Peeps cawed in defense of her owner.

"That is a smart chicken," Yusuke stated, "And why else would he live here and not with Kurama then?"

"Yeah, it makes sense, if he lives her he gets sweet snow _and _physical love," Sapphire grinned.

"Attack! Peeps, Henrietta, Sheep, David, Pasta, Eggs!" Alex yelled and several chickens and roosters attacked the two accusing teens.

"Ah!" they yelled as they were pecked at and joined by the chickens from Zelda games.

"Oh and you guys, Hiei sleeps without a shirt on the couch, so get your heads out of your asses!" Alex yelled and walked inside to leave Hiei watching the two get attacked by chickens.

**End Chapter**

Psychic: Well, that was different, and yes Alex has a pet chicken named Peeps now, it lives in a little dog house.

Alex: Yay! (Hugs Peeps)

Psychic: Please review.


	5. Children's Day

Psychicfiredemoness: Yay! This is for Alex's birthday/Children's day!

Alex: No!

Psychic: Yes! I own nothing!

**Chapter 5 Children's Day**

The doorbell rang at Alex's house. She stood in front of it for a moment.

'Hm…answer the door when all my friends know that it's my birthday, or stay here and act like I'm not,' the small demon thought as the bell rang again, ' I think I'll sneak out.'

With that she climbed the stairs and went to the second floor balcony, hopped onto the roof and down to her pool deck, but managed to fall down the five wooden stairs.

"Ow, pain," she grumbled.

"What the hell are you doing?" she jumped and looked up to see Hiei in the large pine near her non-basement bedroom.

"Why are you in the tree next to my bedroom?" She asked suspiciously.

He glared and disappeared suddenly.

"Hehehe…freedom," She declared to herself and ran around the pool, tripped on a sprinkler and fell into the deep end.

She surfaced glaring at the side and got out before hopping the fence where her soaked shirt got caught on one of the cut planks and fell over it and managed to tear a large hole in it.

"Damnit," she growled out and was then tackled to the ground by two hanyou's.

"Alex!" Both Kayori and Sapphire declared, "Happy Birthday!"

"Don't you mean Cinco De Mayo?" The blonde dryly asked Sapphire.

"Maybe…" She replied.

"What do ya wanna do for your b-day?" Kayori questioned.

"Get a new shirt?" The demon twitched and the other two finally realized that her shirt had a gaping hole.

"Let's show Hiei!" Sapphire stated.

"What the hell!" Alex yelped jumping away.

"Just kidding," Sapphire smiled.

"Right…" Kayori sweat dropped.

"So why are you here?" Alex asked.

"To take you out for your birthday," they replied and dragged her off.

**Mall**

Alex was currently hugging a plastic bag with little hearts popping everywhere.

"Well, she's content," Sapphire said eating a slice of pizza.

"Yep," Kayori agreed poking at her own with a pair of chopsticks.

"Thank you guys," Alex said digging through the bag and pulled out one of her new cookbooks.

"And it works for everyone because now you're gonna cook us all sorts of good food," Sapphire grinned.

"Yes, so in turn, everyone does win, except for me when I get home," She twitched.

"Hiei again?" they asked.

"How'd you two know that?" she inquired.

"Because whenever it has to do with problems at your house its Hiei, or Yusuke broke down the door again, or you wasted the water in your pool," Sapphire stated.

"But in general it's Hiei," Kayori said.

Alex glared at both of them.

"Aren't you two just lovely?" she growled.

"Yes, let's go to the festival!" Kayori declared and they dragged her out of the mall and to the park to show the many children flying kites.

"Wow, that was eventful," Alex stated.

"Wasn't it?" Sapphire agreed.

"Oh one thing though," Kayori said.

"What?" Alex asked.

"We told Yukina we'd make you visit her today," Sapphire said.

"Alright, Yukina is too nice to plot something evil for my birthday," Alex snapped remembering the exploding birthday cake Sapphire had sent her.

"That only happened once!" Sapphire defended herself.

"Let's just go to the temple," Kayori sighed and dragged the two off by their wrists.

**Temple**

"Surprise!" Everyone screamed as Alex was led into the temple. She shrieked and dived for the doors but Sapphire grabbed her.

"No let me go! I should have just stayed and hidden at home!" Alex declared running even though Sapphire had her collar.

"But we got you a cake," Yusuke said and rolled out a gigantic layered cake out.

"Holy crap!" Alex said when she saw it.

"That isn't even the half of it," Yusuke took the top layer off and out popped a shirtless and panting Hiei.

"I couldn't breathe in that detective!" he growled leaning over the edge of the cake and the smaller Jaganshi realized that he was a lot more then just shirtless. (She saw his pelvis for you sicko's)

"Ah! Where are his clothes!" she shrieked.

"Oh but he's in his birthday suit just for you," Yusuke grinned.

"No I'm not! You idiots grabbed me, tore my clothes off and shoved me into the cake!" Hiei yelled, "Kurama even joined you!"

"But we wanted a special present for Alex's birthday," Kurama chuckled.

"Please just give him some clothes!" Alex pleaded coving her blushing face.

"Ah she's shy…" Sapphire laughed.

"Let's desensitize her," Yusuke grinned and he grabbed her arms and dragged her over to the cake, there was an explosion.

They all looked over to see a hole in the wall and a new cake was there, this one being larger and more grand then the last. Temi popped out and he was wearing his black pants but nothing else.

"Happy Birthday Alex!" he declared with hearts everywhere.

"Well at least had the sense to wear pants," Alex stated.

"I was forced into this you little idiot!" Hiei screamed at her and punched her from his place in the cake.

"Don't hit her!" Temi growled climbing out of his cake.

"This is really weird," Kuwabara stated as Sapphire ate a popsicle and watched.

"But entertaining none the less," Sapphire stated.

"And why are you naked!" Temi finally yelled at his cousin.

"Oh don't you know? We _were _going to do something fun with him but you had to come and ruin it all," Alex rolled her eyes.

Temi looked horrified and stood there pointing a shaking finger at the naked demon.

"Yeah, we'll just cart him to Alex's room," Yusuke stated.

Temi tore a hunk of cake away and threw it at the detective.

"Hey!" he yelped blinded by frosting and bread.

Alex threw the false layer at the demon. Then pelted him with cake.

"Victory!" she declared and threw some at Hiei.

He dodged and lobbed a piece at her and used his Jagan to throw the other cake at her.

"Alex!" the hanyous yelled and dug through the cake successfully covering everyone else in the room that wasn't hidden in a cake.

"Damnit!" Yusuke yelled and shoved Sapphire's face into the Hiei cake.

"I'm still in here you know," Hiei growled out.

Sapphire pulled her frosted face out, "Hey Alex congrats."

"On what?" Alex asked smacking Temi with a birthday candle.

"Big things can come in small packages," Sapphire grinned and was smacked by the male Jaganshi.

"You sick bastard!" Alex yelled and caked Hiei again.

"What the hell was that!" he fumed.

She just threw more at him before throwing the cousin at him. The cake was destroyed and both fire demons lay covered in the food. They all walked out to go get cleaned up at that point.

"Incest!" Sapphire screamed before exiting completely.

**End chapter**

Psychic: All I got so deal, and happy birthday to me…


	6. The Confessional

Psychicfiredemoness: This is gonna be so psychotic and yet funny at the same time, as are most of the things I write. Cept freehand, that crap gets kinda dark- er! Enjoy the chapter, I own nothing!

**Chapter 6 Confessionals**

"And why are we going this again?" Yusuke groaned in an itchy, semi-formal suit as his team, and Alex and Sapphire entered the church in their good clothes.

"Cause I need to repent for making the priest come to my house and attack Hiei, and you all were involved in that so you have to be here with me," Alex stated blandly in an Amish looking dress.

"What about Keiko and Yukina?" Sapphire questioned.

"Nah, I'm not going to bring them down to our own personal hell," she replied.

They all sweat dropped as they entered a pew and stared at the confession box as someone entered.

"So…who's going first?" Kuwabara asked leaning on the pew in front of the group.

No one spoke up.

"Hm, let's make this interesting then," Yusuke grinned suddenly.

"How exactly?" Alex raised a brow suspicious of anything the boy came up with in that overly gelled head of his.

"We'll see who can make the priest drop the bible. Most times dropped within their turn gets…ten buck from me," he said counting his change.

"I got twenty," Sapphire grinned.

"Fifteen," Kuwabara said.

"Twenty-five," Kurama sighed not knowing why he would compete in this little game, but ah the Yoko traits did not die when valuables were involved.

"Hn," Hiei stated but nodded.

"…Fin1 I have three hundred fifty-six dollars ya happy?" Alex grumbled.

"How the hell did you get that much!" Yusuke yelled.

"And why the hell are you carrying it!" Sapphire added.

"Payday," she stated, "I deposited more then half of it already, this is just left over from grocery shopping too; you guys were only there when I went shopping," she stated.

They still just stared at her because of the money factor.

"It's what you get for working at a high-end restaurant," said a voice in her ear. She jumped and shrieked before turning the smack Temi with a copy of the bible.

"What are _you _doing here?" Hiei growled at his cousin.

"Following Alex of course," the tallest fire demon smirked gripping his fiancés arm so she wouldn't hit him, "And your little game intrigues me, I'll stay and watch."

"You can let go now," Alex snarled trying to get her arm back.

"Why would I ever let go of you dear?" he smiled and a group of nuns off to the sighed passed out with heavy nosebleeds.

"Get him away get him away!" She cried hugging to Sapphire having gotten her arm back.

They heard something drop in the confessional and saw Yusuke grinning and exiting it.

"Who can do better?" he questioned.

"Just watch Urameshi!" Kuwabara ran in and came out a moment later muttering Hail Mary's under his breath.

Yusuke cracked up at the failed attempt.

"Ok Sapph, you're turn," he laughed as the ice hanyou entered.

**Inside the…BOX! Bwahaha!**

"Forgive me father for I have sinned," She said calmly. (I have NO idea how these go cause I don't attend church.)

"And what have you done my child?" the priest asked sorry that the voice was not that of a prepubescent boy.

"Well, I had a wild romp the other night with a fox demon," she said thoughtfully. He dropped the bible.

"Um yes that requires-" he picked it up.

"Oh, and it wasn't in wedlock," she stated and he dropped it again, "And he is here right now in the house of God. See ya."

She exited the box and heard him yelling at her to get out of his church. She grinned cheekily and took her seat in the pew again.

"Nice Sapph," Alex laughed.

"Did you have to involve me though?" Kurama sighed.

"Why Yoko wanna make that fact?" Alex laughed harder.

"Ok your turn Jagan-girl," Yusuke thumbed towards the box.

"Alright," she entered the box, "Forgive me father for I have sinned." She said in a chocked voice.

"And what have you done my child?" he was again disappointed.

"Well I tricked a priest into exorcising a demon out of my house and he received a good amount of head trauma," she heard the bible slip to the ground once and smirked.

"And I made it with two fire demons," he dropped it again, "At once and out of wedlock, though one technically is my fiancé." It fell again and she slammed the door open, "And there they are!" She pointed to Hiei and Temi who had been arguing with each other.

They both looked up. The priest jumped out of the box and called upon the other members of the church to attack the two foul creatures until they were outside the church grounds and waiting on a bench…arguing again.

"Third times the charm ain't it?" she smirked.

"You two! You have no place in the house of god!" the priest yelled and literally threw both girls out, "And you! Sexually harassing that poor girl so many times!" He passed Kuwabara and his eyes landed on Kurama, him being the only other person in the church, "You must be the horrid creature that took that poor girl to bed!" He threw Kurama out next and Kuwabara ran out to his friends.

**Later**

"Ok so Alex got it dropped three times, Sapphire twice, me once, Kuwabara sucked and Kurama and Hiei didn't even go," Yusuke said as the group (Minus Temi) walked down the street, "And everyone but Kuwabara got kicked out of that church for life. So who wins?"

"Well we all _did _get kicked out," Alex said.

"Draw?" Sapphire suggested.

"Sure why not," she agreed as they turned a corner.

"Once question however," Hiei stated darkly.

"What?" Kuwabara asked.

"What did you say child?" he turned his darkest glare on the other Jaganshi.

"Uh, nothing really!" she lied as Kurama chuckled lightly.

"Fox what did she say?" he growled in aggravation.

"You'd really rather not know Hiei," he said.

"Hey what did you say?" Yusuke asked narrowing his eyes slightly.

"That I tricked a priest a few chapters ago?" She guessed.

"And?" most of them pressed.

"That my fiancé is a fire demon?" she added.

"It dropped three times," Yusuke said.

"And that I had a three-some with Hiei and Temi?" She swallowed and ran before letting this information sink in too much.

When it did Hiei chased her down less then ten feet away and started beat on her while the others laughed.

**End chapter**

Psychic: Well I hope you all liked that chapter, Alex is now dead most likely.

Jill: Joseph!

Chris: No! Don't go.

Psychic: Wow, I need to play less Resi Evil. Ahem, please review.


	7. How to make a Demon sneeze

Psychicfiredemoness: I'm trying to not neglect my fics, so sorry for the lack of updates everyone. I own nothing.

**Chapter 7 Allergies and Insults**

"Ok, so we found out what makes a demon cry but what makes him sneeze?" Alex asked in her black school uniform.

"Who the hell are you talking to?" Sapphire asked staring at the short girl in her street clothes.

"Uh…We are going to figure out what Hiei is allergic to and what annoys the guys!" she declared.

"Well we know Kurama hates people saying Magical Herbs," Sapphire answered and the said fox bopped her lightly on the head.

"How come you hit me when I say Magical Herbs!" Alex fumed and Kurama hit her so hard she kissed the pavement causing her legs to stick up.

There was a spurting sound and they looked over to see a passed out Temi with a bloody nose and swirly eyes.

"Wow," Alex sat up holding her head, "Hey…He has a sack! He was gonna kidnap me!"

"That's what he does," they turned to see Yusuke grinned, "Black, can't say I'm surprised Alex."

"Shut up you worthless pervert!" she fumed and smacked him with her school bag which contained three bricks in case she ever ran into Hiei during educational hours.

"What the hell is in there!" he yelled holding his face.

"Bricks," she stated snidely, "And books."

"Alright so are you guys in?" Sapphire asked.

"I just got clocked by a four foot eight bitch and you wanna know if I'm gonna torment Hiei!" Yusuke screamed.

"Well?" she asked.

"Yeah I'm in," he replied.

The three sweat dropped.

**Later; Genkai's**

"So…what are we going to test on him?" Alex asked.

"Why not common allergies?" Kurama suggested.

"Why are you helping? You're his best buddy?" Alex glared at the fox coldly.

"Would you rather I not?" he questioned.

"No…it's suspicious however," Alex stated.

"Let's test something already," Yusuke grinned evilly.

"Alright!" Sapphire cheered.

**Test One**

"Now!" Alex proclaimed and Yusuke and Sapphire dumped two hundred pounds on the surprised fire demon.

"He's gone!" Sapphire yelled and dug through all the peanuts, chucking them on her friends in the process.

"What are you idiots doing this time?" Hiei growled after smacking Alex because he didn't even need to ask whose plan it was.

"Asshole," she growled holding the second major lump on her head that day.

"Um, we thought you liked peanuts," Yusuke stated.

**Test Two**

"No Eikichi!" Kuwabara screamed as Yusuke threw the cat at Hiei's face but the demon dodged once more and found Alex so he could hit her once more for her schemes.

"Hey…why isn't Jagan girl here?" Yusuke asked.

"Cause she's allergic to cats," Sapphire replied as Kuwabara retrieved his pet from the wall.

"Poor kitty," he said hugging the animal gently before he ran off to show Yukina.

"Stupid…" Yusuke sweat dropped.

**Test Fifteen**

Alex walked over to the demon with several bandages on her face and a sling covering her arm. She held a box out to him.

"What the hell are these?" Hiei glared down at the strange box that read 'Trojans'. (Latex allergy you pervs…)

"Condoms to prevent impregnation," Alex stated dryly.

"Are you offering child?" he asked coolly and then realized the box was labeled 'small'. He smacked her.

"What to big for ya?" she laughed and got punched again, "What about these?"

She held up a box labeled 'juniors'. He attacked her in rage.

**Later**

"I don't think she'll through many more of these tests Yusuke," Sapphire sweat dropped staring at her best and brutalized friend.

"Ya think?" Alex remarked sarcastically.

"So what should we do then?" Yusuke asked.

"I have one more theory," Alex got up an limped into the temple.

The two followed and saw her in the kitchen, cooking dinner.

"So much for that," Yusuke sighed, "But a well deserved meal!"

"What the hell did you do?" Sapphire asked dryly.

"Watched Alex get beat, gave her the condoms, and dumped peanuts on him," he stated proudly, "And Kurama didn't do anything!"

"He had to go home stupid!" Sapphire argued and they went outside after Genkai shouted for them to can it.

**Kitchen**

Once more Hiei followed his nose to something horribly pungent and entered the kitchen only to be pounced upon and have a ring of garlic wrapped tightly around his neck.

"Die vampire die!" she shrieked as he gagged and gasped for air.

He managed to throw her off of him and onto the counter successfully cracking the tile. He choked and coughed for air with the plant still around his neck; his face and eyes turning red. (Well more red on the eyes anyway.)

"What did you do?" he gasped out throwing the horrid food away from himself.

"You are a vampire! The fangs, the eyes, the black, and the garlic!" she yelled and sprayed him in the face with the sink sprayer with her semi-good arm.

"I am not a vampire!" he managed now gagging on water but the garlic thing was fading slowly.

"Well we now know what you are allergic to," she smirked evilly and stopped spraying.

He glared death at her and attacked.

**Before dinner**

"Alex?" Sapphire peeked into the kitchen after finally losing to Yusuke during their 'argument'.

The kitchen was a wreck. The counter was destroyed, the sink was running, a pan was on the stove without a flame and there was garlic thrown everywhere. To top the scene off there was a dotted trail of blood leading down the hallway.

The ice hanyou followed this and came to Alex's room and slowly slid the door open.

There lay the dazed girl with garlic strewn around the room.

"What the hell!" Sapphire shouted.

"I found out what Hiei is allergic too," she stated with two broken arms, a broken leg, a fractured leg, three snapped ribs and possibly internal damage.

"Oh ok," Sapphire stated and walked away.

**End chapter**

Psychic: Well that's the most I've written in a while, sad to say. I'll try and pay more attention to my other fics too guys, so sorry. Hope you liked this chapter, please review.


	8. Halloween

Psychicfiredemoness: Sorry I haven't been updating people, I've had lots of school work lately and I want to go to college so I'm doing all of it for better or worse.

Hiei: So read the story and leave.

Alex: What's you problem?

Hiei: Hn.

Psychic: Tis the season…for candy! I own nothing.

**Chapter 8 Halloween**

There was a knock at Yusuke's door, so naturally he answered it. Alex, Sapphire and Kayori stood there in custom. Alex a witch, Kayori an electric outlet (Original aren't I?) and Sapphire…well she wasn't really in costume so much as in her regular clothing.

"What the hell is this?" he questioned.

"Trick or treat!" they declared holding up pillowcases.

"Aren't you guys a little old?" Kuwabara wandered over with a hand of cards.

"Then it's a damn good thing I look young," Alex shot back, "Now give us some candy!"

"You have a job; get your own," Yusuke said grabbing a bowl and eating a sucker.

"Yusuke that's for the trick-or-treaters!" Atsuko yelled from inside.

"Yes mother!" he retorted grumpily.

"What are you two doing anyways?" Kayori asked.

"We were just gonna hang out here with Kurama and Hiei passing out candy," Yusuke sighed.

"You could come trick-or-treating with us," Sapphire suggested.

"Sounds better than this," Yusuke sighed, "You guys can wait inside, me and Kuwabara will go throw on some costumes.

**Later**

After the two demons had arrived Yusuke came out of the kitchen literally covered in flour to look like a ghost and Kuwabara came out wrapped in toilet paper as a mummy.

"What the hell are you two doing like that?" Hiei asked raising a brow.

"Going trick-or-treating," Yusuke remarked, "And so are you two."

"No costumes," Kurama replied simply.

Yusuke spotted the vine that his mother had bought that had nearly taken over the kitchen and grabbed it, wrapping it around the fox, "There, now you're the swamp thing." He dumped water on the demon who looked rather miserable.

"What about Hiei?" Alex asked pointing to the other demon.

Yusuke, Sapphire, Kayori and Kuwabara tackled him and in the next instant he was in a vampire costume; cape, fangs (Well he already had those…) weird little Dracula outfit and everything.

"Now to find him a bride!" Yusuke jumped Alex and her witch's costume became nothing more than a scantily ripped black dress, her boots and the traditional hat.

"What the hell!" she fumed hiding under Hiei's cape.

"Now all you need is a bite mark and you're his vampire witch bride," he laughed and she punched him.

"Up yours ghost boy!" she screamed kicking him.

"You want him to really play the part don't you?" they turned to see Botan in a black hooded cloak and carrying a large plastic scythe.

"Grim reaper?" Kayori asked and she nodded brightly.

"Why is Kurama dripping?" she asked quizzically.

"Yusuke went all swamp thing on his ass," Sapphire replied, "Are you trick-or-treating with us?"

"Bingo!" she declared.

**Later…again**

After beating Yusuke several more times before leaving the house the group set off into the night to get…candy! But in some cases pennies or popcorn balls.

"Open up damnit!" Yusuke banged on the door to a very large house.

"Should I tell him or do you want to?" Hiei asked the smaller demon that was currently huddled in his cape with him to keep warm.

"Nah, I want to see how embarrassed he gets," Alex replied.

**Ten Minutes Later**

"Yusuke it's Alex's house!" Kayori finally snapped smacking the boy with her sack of candy.

"And you guys let me bang on the door for ten minutes!" he screamed incredulously.

"Like you don't know where I live," Alex retorted.

"But I thought someone was home, look at all the decoration!" He motioned towards the house where Jack-o-lanterns lined the porch and fake ghost hung from trees and a fake child dressed as Frankenstein peed in the bushes.

"Wait- Get off my property you little asshole!" Alex attack the person that turned out to be a forty-something year old dwarf.

"Spooky," Botan said, "Someone shorter than Alex." She giggled and received a glare.

"Well since we're here you guys wanna count our candy or go out some more?" she questioned calming a bit.

**Three hours later**

"Oh! This house! This house is creepy!" Sapphire pointed at a rickety old mansion at the top of a hill; lightning struck with was odd considering it was a clear night.

"That was really messed up," Yusuke stated.

"It _is _Halloween," Kurama stated.

So the group hiked up the hill and knocked on the door. An old woman with a glass eye and pegged leg answered the door.

"Trick-or-treat!" the less antisocial of the group chided.

She put something in each of their bags and they left the house.

"What did we get?" Sapphire looked in her bag.

"No…no! It's- it's…!" Yusuke chocked.

"A veggie bar!" Alex shrieked and started having a spasm on the ground. She stopped looking at Kurama who was still covered in vegetation, "Well it could be worse."

"Point taken," he said almost coldly.

"Well, to the next house!" Yusuke declare as he and Kuwabara marched off to the next home, the others following.

A Goth girl answered the door and a party seemed to be raging inside the house; she tried pulling Hiei inside by force and being brushed off gave them no candy.

The next house they each received a popcorn ball; Kurama had gotten two because his pathetic costume had nearly made the man piss himself from hysterical laughter.

"Come on Kurama…please don't let Yoko out," Sapphire backed away from the seemingly seething fox.

"Yusuke…" he gave a glare to the youth that had bestowed him such a miserable guise.

And that is how the detectives costume became his true identity! Just kidding, I wouldn't kill Yusuke off….thus far.

**Alex's House**

"I'll trade you…A gallon of sweet snow for your candy," Alex tried to haggle with Hiei.

"Five," he remarked.

"Two," she spat.

"Ten," he retorted.

"Nine and a half," she said.

"…Ten," he remarked.

"Fine," she sighed and led him to the kitchen before walking back and hugging her now two sacks of candy.

"Cavities," Yusuke stated with an ice bag on his head, "I'll be happy to take some of that off your hands."

"Need I remind you of Easter?" Alex glared.

"Easter?" he replied.

"…Peeps! Henrietta, Pasta, David, Eggs, Sheep!" Alex called and the chickens flew out from somewhere upstairs. One had a little black mask on, one wore a red cape, one had a blue wizard's hat, one had a green chicken tunic, one had a pink feather boa and the last had a little brown chicken jacket on. They all attacked Yusuke.

"Ah, they dressed up for Halloween," Kuwabara noted looking at the chickens and laughed a bit.

They stopped the barrage on Yusuke to glare at the oaf and they all started crowing, several chickens attacked the boy while they continues to peck Yusuke.

"Happy Halloween!" Alex, Sapphire, and Kayori declared. Kayori lost balance and fell on her face.

"Guys help! I can't get up in this thing!" Kayori cried.

**End Chapter**

Psychic: Well I hope you all had a good Halloween and enjoyed this chapter, please review and don't get sick off of candy.


	9. The Eyes Have Hills

Psychicfiredemoness: Well I'd like to thank those of you that put up with my lack of updates, I'd be saying this at the top of a Turning Point if my mom wouldn't go all cleaning Nazi on me and yell when I get the tourney notes out. Sorry everyone. But I hope you all like this chapter cause I'm about to bash a horror movie!

Hiei: Then get on with it.

Psychic: I own nothing.

**Chapter 9 The Eyes Have Hills**

"Are we there yet?" Sapphire groaned from the backseat of the SUV that Alex was currently driving through the desert.

"No Sapph, I'll tell you when we get there, or I'll shove you out of the car for asking," Alex responded, yawning after driving all day long.

"…Are we there yet?" Sapphire grinned and founded herself being thrown from the vehicle due to a Jagan Eye.

"Was that necessary?" Kurama sighed from the back seat.

"Yes," Alex replied after a moment having stopped the car, Sapphire running outside to catch up before returning to the seat next to her husband.

"You're a bitch you know, how the hell _does_ Hiei put up with it?" Sapphire asked sardonically brushing some dust from her arms.

"I use a gag and some ropes," Hiei retorted from the passenger's seat and the ice hanyou said no more, not knowing if it was sarcasm or not.

"He's joking Sapphire," Alex sighed as they pulled into a desolate gas station, "Ok, I'll fill it up; you guys go do what it is you do." She hopped out of the car and went to the trailer hooked to it and knocked on the door. Yukina answered.

"We're stopped for gas you guys can walk around a bit if you want," She walked away and both Yusuke and Kuwabara ran out of the trailer, more than a little happy to stretch their legs. Keiko sighed holding her and Yusuke's very young daughter.

Alex entered the small convenience store and looked around at the old dusty store; no one was behind the counter.

"Hello?" she called wandering up to it.

"What?" Asked an aging man as he ran out from a doorway shrouded in hippie beads. Alex shrieked at his sudden appearance and in less then a second Hiei ran in, katana drawn to protect his mate.

"Damnit Hiei I told you no sword on vacation!" She fumed, "but thank you." He grunted and left the building.

"So what can I do you for?" he asked.

"I need to fill my car up and I kinda need directions to California," Alex stated, he nodded and the two walked outside; the human received a glare from Hiei as he filled up the tank and gave the blonde directions.

**Meanwhile**

"Yusuke don't go in the bushes!" Keiko fumed at her hubby who had unzipped in front of some brush.

"But Kuwabara's in the bathroom," He groaned zipping up to appease her.

"There's an outhouse over there," she nodded to a small wooden building. He grumbled and stalked over hurriedly and walked into it do his business. The outhouse however was one of the worst, most filthy places he'd ever been even _after _having gone to Makai battlefields!

"Gee thanks Keiko," He said as he peed, he looked up for a moment and saw an eye staring at him from a peephole, "What the hell!?" He fumed, finished and ran outside. "And you call _me_ a pervert!" He pointed as his wife.

"What are you talking about?" She asked raising a brow at him.

He then rounded on the only other female within range to have peeked. "Alex! Why did you peep at me in the outhouse!" he demanded.

"Yusuke, why would I want to look at a cocktail dog when I have Bratwurst?" She motioned at Hiei who was leaning against the trailer.

It took a moment for the boy to understand, "Oh my god, you're worse than I am!" He then stormed off to the trailer at both the comment and that someone had peeked at his Mr. Happy.

**Few Minutes Later**

"Everyone ready to go?" Alex asked; Yusuke, Sapphire, Kurama, and Hiei all now in the SUV.

"Yes," Yusuke grunted from the backseat. The man from the gas station walked over.

"You know if you take this road and go left it leads to a short cut that'll probably take a couple of hours out of your trip," He said.

"Thanks but I think I'll stick to the main road," Alex replied and the man got a panicked expression.

"Just take the damn shortcut Jagan-girl!" Yusuke ordered.

"Make me bitch!" she fumed and dove at him from the front seat, the two fought for a moment before Hiei climbed back and stopped it, giving Yusuke a black eye.

"So why is he driving now?" Alex glowered in the cargo space of the vehicle with Hiei.

"Because you wouldn't take a short cut," Yusuke replied darkly driving down the road, "So shut up." She glared at him. "Stop that damnit!" he fumed turning around and failed to notice the strip of metal hiding under the sand in front of them, spikes rose from it quickly popping all the tires. Yusuke managed to hit a large boulder in the process.

They all got out of the car and the trailer to look at the damage.

"You…you…Totaled my car!" the fire demon raged and it took Kurama, Kuwabara, and Sapphire from killing the detective at that instant.

"Yeah it kinda is," He laughed nervously checking out the damage, it was beyond repair.

"You suck Yusuke! This is why I didn't want to take this god forsaken shortcut, because now we're stranded!" she pointed at him accusingly.

"You act like it's my fault," He glowered.

"It is your fault!" she raged and the sound echoed throughout the empty land. They were surprised she didn't try to attack him again.

"So what do we do now?" Yusuke asked as Sapphire let the dogs out for some exercise, Snowball instantly took off but tripped over the sleeping Mousse, she got up and barked at the lab angrily who snored on in the shade.

"I'll try my cell," Sapphire flipped the phone out and sighed getting no signal, "Well at least Kai's at Genkai's." She sighed heavily.

"And Enjeru," Alex nodded.

"And Kage," Hiei added with a slight twitch thinking of his overly affectionate son.

"Damnit!" Sapphire had pulled out her communication mirror and it apparently didn't work either.

"Should we walk back to the gas station?" Yukina suggested.

"Maybe," Yusuke sighed kicking a tire lightly and the front of the vehicle collapsed.

"Yusuke!" Alex screamed in rage and smacked him.

"Quiet," Kurama said suddenly, "I think something may be out here."

"Yeah, four demons, three humans, two dogs and a hanyou in my car seat. Sapphire get out of the car!" Alex growled.

"I meant something else," Kurama sighed lightly; he could have sworn he'd seen a flicker of metal in the surrounding foothills, "It must be the heat getting to me." He smiled lightly despite the situation at hand. "If need be I'll go on ahead to see if there's a road."

"My hero," Sapphire grinned.

"Naturally," He smiled back.

"Oh god they're flirting; Yoko's gonna come out and play isn't he?" Yusuke asked Alex who shrugged in response. He changed his tone quickly, "So who's gonna go to the gas station?"

"I will I guess, just so I can cuss that bastard out," Alex snarled darkly.

"I'm going too then," Hiei remarked.

"Oh no, you two _say _you're going there but _really _you're just gonna have sex in the desert! I'm onto your fire demon ways!" Yusuke said suspiciously.

"Oh damn you caught us, now how are we supposed to have fun out of the sight of you humans?" Alex rolled her eyes as she headed into the trailer to grab a couple of water bottles. She tossed one to the fox.

"I'll be back soon," He told Sapphire with a kiss to her temple before heading off down the road.

"Toddles," Alex stated starting back down the road with Hiei a few steps ahead.

"So…" Sapphire said, "What now?"

"Why are you asking me?" Yusuke gave a dry look to her.

"Because you're the leader without Alex here?" She guessed getting a pool chair down from the trailer roof and unfolded it.

"Oh so what I'm the backup leader!?" Yusuke fumed.

"Yeah pretty much," she replied plopping down on it and stretching out to tan a little.

Several uneventful hours passed and neither Hiei and Alex nor Kurama had returned.

"This is boring!" Sapphire declared loudly from a small table under the trailers awning. Yukina and Keiko were setting up for lunch.

"You said it," Yusuke agreed with a sigh, laying his head on the table.

"Move," Keiko told him to put some sandwiches down, and sat next to him after retrieving their daughter from inside.

"Shouldn't Hiei have made it by now, even with Alex?" Kuwabara asked eating a sandwich.

"Nah, they probably had to have a few rounds every mile or so," Yusuke tore a bite from his own lunch.

"Rounds of what?" Yukina asked innocently.

"Uh…They're sparing to stay in shape!" Yusuke declared.

"Oh, alright," Yukina smiled.

"I'm gonna go for a walk," The tallest human sighed and left the table.

"Later then," Yusuke waved to him and reclined in his chair, falling backwards in the sand.

"Not very balanced are we?" Alex questioned standing above the detective. She looked fried.

"Why are you back? Hiei here?" Yusuke asked putting the chair back up.

"Nah, we got about five miles out when he suddenly says 'go back to the trailer'. I asked why and he just told me to come back again, so I gave him my water and came back," She shrugged.

"Ah, what a good little sunburned mate you are," Yusuke replied slapping her shoulder and he could tell the girl fought to hold a scream of burning agony.

"Ah! Little Alex is all sunburned!" Sapphire hugged the girl tightly and released cool mist on her friend who now looked quite content.

"Thank you Sapph," she said happily.

"Are you gonna be ok?" Keiko asked.

"Yeah, I'll peel tonight and be better by morning, fire demon," She grinned and grabbed a sandwich.

**Kurama**

The fox had been trekking the road for a while now and spotted something up ahead, it seemed to be many, many craters and the road ended with them. Approaching the rim of one he noticed down below there were over three dozen vehicles; cars, trucks, a few vans, a bus and a compact with a boat attached to it. He slid down the curving bank and walked around the graveyard of vehicles. He noticed some dried blood on a few, along with broken windows although all the cars had one thing in common; they were all totaled with flat tires made by some type of spike. It was the same way Alex's tires had been punctured it seemed.

Standing up again he started to check the cars, some looked like they'd been out there for ten years while others looked relatively new in make. Wiping his brow on the back of his sleeve he started up the bank, an uneasy feeling having settled over him as he walked among the cars. This wasteland felt very unsafe, even for the powerful demon.

**Kuwabara**

"Man…where am I?" Kuwabara was lost, in the desert without a way of contacting the others.

He walked around a large rock structure and found himself staring at a horrible sight. A coyote was lying in front of him, dead, it; belly had been torn open by what must have been a blade, and it seemed to be missing its insides.

He turned and ran, unaware of the drop off, he fell on his stomach but kept running until he managed to find the trailer some three or four miles away.

**Trailer**

"Mr. Fox-Face!" Sapphire jumped into her husband's arms who caught and hugged her protectively.

"What's up?" She asked feeling the grip, "Something happen?"

"The road ends a few miles away; it's a field of craters. Inside one were 40 vehicles. Cars, trucks, vans, and a bus all hidden away inside it," He said.

"That old man lied to us? What's going on out here?" Alex questioned feeling suddenly alone without her mate and looked down the road, very tempted to run down it and find him.

"I also noticed that the tires were all punctured, like all of our tires have been," Kurama said as the sun began to set and Kuwabara ran towards the camp. The fox exchanged a look with Alex, "Someone trapped us out here."

"You guys!" Kuwabara yelled entering camp.

"What's up?" Yusuke asked seeing the terror in his friends face.

"I think something's out here, I found a coyote and it was cut open!" he said making sure Yukina wasn't in earshot, "I don't think it's safe out here." They noticed Alex starting off down the road.

"Oh no you don't you're staying here!" Yusuke dragged her back to camp.

"But Hiei!" She turned chibi and started crying.

"Listen, if Jagan-boy can manage to slam you he can take care of himself," Yusuke declared.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean!?" she fumed returning to normal.

"That you're a bossy bitch," he replied and the two started to attack one another.

"You guys are idiots," Sapphire declared with a sigh.

"Shut up!" They both growled at her.

"Whatever, I'm goin' to bed," she yawned.

"But what about Jagan-boy?" Alex waved her arms frantically in worry.

"Listen, he's tough, and if he isn't back by midnight we'll go look for him ok?" Yusuke decided and she nodded, and then pranced towards the trailer while Yusuke and Keiko would sleep in the SUV with the dogs.

**Gas Station**

Hiei let out a sigh when he finally got to the gas station; it would have still been day had he decided to run but seeing as a _human _ran the place there would be questions to answer.

It seemed completely empty but the old fools car was still there. He entered the store finding no one and stalked into the back room, his patience wearing very thin. All there was, was furniture and a large duffle bag, he peeked inside out of curiosity and found a good deal of cash and valuables along with a human ear inside a box, the blood was fresh and he scowled wondering what this old man had been up to out in the desert.

He suddenly sensed a flicker of energy outside that hadn't caught his attention before. Striding out of the building he looked to the outhouse, a pair of legs stuck out of it. He walked over and kicked the door open; the old human was sitting there with a shotgun that was pointing at his face. He was crying and pulled the trigger. Nothing happened so he banged it on the ground causing it to fire into the roof of the outhouse and causing him to get a heart attack and die. (Yes, real content from the film would make me rate this higher.) Hiei didn't so much as flinch and turned; he heard something.

"Daddy…" A voice almost mocked from all around him. He twitched thinking of his overly affectionate son, although this voice was nothing like Kage's.

He started walking to the car, found the person who'd been chanting in the backseat and punched through the glass knowing what looked to be a mutated human out. Something hit the back of his head, hard, and everything went black.

**Trailer**

Alex twitched lying awake in her bunk, and by hers I mean the one she should be sharing with Hiei to stay warm. She glared at her watch, an hour until midnight. Another sixty damn minutes! She turned over twitching at the wait. She turned again and fell off the bunk. She jumped up and kicked the bunk, hurting her foot and hobbled around until she fell back onto it, glaring she turned over and tried to get some sleep.

About ten minutes later she heard the door open and saw the lights turn on even though her eyes were closed. Whoever it was walked over and started stroking her hair. She twitched wondering who it was. Was it Yusuke being an ass because Hiei had still yet to return or had the demon finally hauled his ass back and was trying to be soft towards her? Nope, physically impossible for Hiei. She opened her eyes and a deformed hand clasped over her mouth.

Meanwhile Yusuke had gotten up, also having been worried for his three eyed friend and was about to get Alex to help search, the door started opening and the deformed person yelled into a walkie-talkie. There was a loud explosion from outside and Yusuke cursed loudly and ran back outside.

The boy's vulgar mouth had caused the rest of the group to run outside and saw a tree on fire, Hiei was connected to it, and they could just tell that he was twitching in annoyance. Yusuke ran back inside to grab a fire extinguisher from under the sink.

"Alex watch the baby!" he ordered not having seen the Mongoloid that had her pinned to the bed, the short girl twitching angrily and struggling.

**Outside**

Yusuke worked to put the fire out. "You could help you know!" he growled at Hiei who seemed perfectly calm among the flames.

"Just because I'm protecting myself from this fire, doesn't mean I can put it out," he snapped angrily as the last of the flames were put out by Sapphire's help. Yusuke punched the chain holding the demon in place, it snapped thanks to a boost of Spirit Energy in the fist.

The demon landed and looked to the trailer, then disappeared.

"What no thank you!?" fumed Yusuke.

**Trailer**

Just as the leader Mongoloid was about to mount Alex after having punched her, his ugly face slammed into the wall, blood dripping down from the impact crater. Hiei stood there with such a murderous look it could have eliminated the entire Ningenkai population, you know if looks could kill, but sadly they can't, or the world would now be a very empty place.

He quickly grabbed her up and hurried out into the night. Wait…I just made him sound like a vampire…and the garlic…it makes sense all of a sudden! (I'll stop that now…) Oh wait, he goes out into the light. (I lied.)

"Uh Hiei we passed the group," Alex stated as they indeed did not seeming very effected at the near ass rape.

The others meanwhile were heading towards the trailer, people like Yusuke thinking that Hiei just wanted a little something from the blonde. Keiko however ran towards the trailer worried for her young. When she burst in she saw the bulky Mongoloid and his leader recovering from Hiei's blow.

She made a grab for her child but the leader shoved her away and held a gun to the child.

"No!" she shrieked and just then the cavalry arrived, and by this I mean Yusuke.

"What the hell do you think you're doing with my kid!" he screamed and slammed his fist into the leaders face, throwing him into the bulky Mongoloid, he then grabbed Keiko and dashed from the trailer.

"Yusuke!" she cried as he ran.

"I got you Keiko, don't worry," he declared running back to the burnt yucca that had held Hiei earlier.

"No Yusuke!" she panicked now.

"It's fine," he reassured.

"Yusuke you left our daughter!" she screamed and the boy stopped dead in his tracks, turning as though in slow motion to see the Mongoloids fleeing the trailer, the faint crying of their child with them.

"Oh my god!" he screamed setting Keiko down and running after them, not gaining any as they ran into the hills.

**Half Hour Later**

"Yusuke you are a dumbass!" Alex declared still not having been set down from her mates arms, "And Hiei I can walk!"

"Hn," he grunted ignoring her 'subtle' command.

"So what are we gonna do?" Yusuke groaned after Kurama had slipped Keiko something that would keep her unconscious for a while so she wouldn't worry.

"We do save your daughter of course," Sapphire stated seriously.

"We should wait until morning, I don't think they'll hurt her and it would be ill-advised to go wandering in the hills at night," Kurama said.

"He has a point," Alex agreed struggling to get out of Hiei's arms and failing again.

"What are we going to do with Keiko?" Yukina asked in worry for her friend.

"We'll put her in the back of the car, Yusuke can sleep back there with her, and it's probably safer if we all slept in there…if we can all fit," Alex sweat dropped.

"Worth a try ain't it?" Yusuke asked stowing Keiko in the back of the vehicle before climbing in next to her, "What if those assholes come back?" His tone was dry as he looked at them.

"I'll stay watch," Kuwabara volunteered.

"Good enough for me," Yusuke said, "Come on I think you and Yukina will fit back here too."

"Dibs on middle!" Sapphire dove into the car, he sweat dropping husband following in a much more dignified manner and closed the door behind him.

This stuck the two vertically challenged demons to share the now reclined passenger's seat seeing as Alex used Hiei as a living heating blanket.

**Next Morning**

"Ok who's going with me?" Yusuke asked seeing as Kurama had slipped Keiko another dose of whatever it was he'd been giving her.

"Oh I will!" Alex raised her hand wanting revenge on the leader, that and to save Yusuke's dear daughter. Hiei gave her a dark look as if to say 'you aren't going even if I have to tie you down; hn, that would make an interesting-'.

"Pervert!" Alex declared pointing at him.

"What did I do?" he growled.

"You were thinking dirty things again!" she assumed.

"Hn," he replied.

"He isn't denying it," Sapphire noted.

"Alright, I'm heading out, you guys keep Keiko safe alright?" he asked.

"I'm still coming," the fire demon said walking over, Hiei strode over as well, "Stop stalking me!"

"It's his job though," Sapphire grinned despite the situation.

"Be careful you guys," Kuwabara said.

"Those…creatures held the energy of humans, meaning we can't kill them," Kurama sighed.

"The hell with that, they took my daughter!" Yusuke yelled angrily.

"You may want to try and be more discreet when we attack detective," Hiei advised, he and Alex were already following the trail of footprints.

"Hey wait for me!" Yusuke screamed running after the two.

**Later**

The three eventually got to a mining track that led inside of an extensive cavern carved out by the humans. Yusuke let out a small, impressed whistle as they followed the tunnels and came upon a large chamber. There were picks suck in the ground lined in a row with pictures and small personal effects around them.

The continued until they reached light and found themselves staring down at a small ghost town; there were mannequins out in yards and in one case two child-like ones

"This is mildly creepy," Yusuke stated to the two demons.

"Gee ya think Yusuke," Alex replied starting down the ridge they were on.

"Where do you think you're going?" Hiei asked grabbing her ponytail so she could go no further.

"To help find the baby," she remarked, "Unless you know, _you_ have a brighter idea."

"Just let her go and survey the area man, not like anything short of you can kill her," Yusuke sighed, "We'll follow her down in about ten minutes and get cover the other half of the town."

"Something intelligent, oh my god," Alex faked a gasp before Hiei let her go to walk down.

**Trailers**

"Do you really think this is going to work?" Sapphire asked as she and Kurama finished their fishing wire trap wire around the trailer and SUV.

"Hopefully," Kurama smiled at her.

"What the hell do you mean hopefully!?" she fumed suddenly.

He chuckled, "I'm sure we'll be fine with Kuwabara able to sense almost anything."

"Are you two making fun of me out there!" the human called having heard his name in their conversation.

"Not this time!" Sapphire called back as they walked towards the trailer, "So how much longer will Keiko be out?"

"A few hours, if they aren't back by then I'll give her another dose," the fox replied.

"Of what?" the Hispanic girl inquired.

He merely smiled knowingly. They then heard raucous laughter and sirens. They turned to see a truck full of spring break partiers being chased by highway patrol. The truck hit the wire and flew over it flipping over the two totaled vehicles and landing on its wheels, the patrol car following suit and causing everyone to sweat drop as the partiers flew out of the truck and truck bed to throw up all over the sand.

"Hey, when'd we get to TJ?" One asked looking up and seeing Sapphire.

"Racist…" she said striding back to the trailer with Kurama.

"Wait! We have beads for you!" all the men from the crash (Including the cop I might add) ran over with handfuls of bead necklaces. Kurama bristled and caused several desert roots to trip them after they crossed the wire trap.

"Nice," Sapphire grinned as those in the accident wandered off to find someone they could give beads to.

**Others**

"Ok where'd she go?" Yusuke asked having lost sight of Alex in the town and seeing the Mongoloids milling around.

"I don't know," Hiei said starting down the ridge to find her and possibly the child of his friend.

Yusuke shrugged and started after the demon.

As they entered the old town they noticed that mannequins were placed everywhere as though they were real people. Hiei suddenly gripped the human's arm and dragged him into the shadows before Yusuke had realized it.

"What's-" a hand flew over his mouth as a bulky Mongoloid stumbled out of a house with an axe in hand before entering another building.

Yusuke shoved the hand away. "I'll take this part looking for my daughter; you go find Jagan-girl." Hiei was gone next second leaving the boy to sweat drop.

**Trailer**

"Ten bucks says they already got eaten?" Sapphire questioned the fox sitting across from her. They suddenly heard a ringing; it was their trap.

The two ran outside to look around; it seemed that a tumble weed had caught on the wire.

"Just a tumble weed," the ice hanyou let out a relieved sigh.

"No," Kurama said pulling out the rose from his hair. She got the hint and went on the defensive.

Suddenly a relatively normal Mongoloid ran out and Kurama quickly cut him down.

"What happened to no killing the humans?" Sapphire raised a brow at him. The fox smiled and put one finger to his lips as though to say 'shh'.

**Alex's mysteriously mysterious spot**

The Jaganshi woke to find herself inside of some type of large container; it seemed to be an old freezer. She sighed sitting up and pushed up against the plastic top, it didn't move. She hit it, it didn't break. Twitching she focused energy into her fist and broke through, melting much of the plastic and stood up, managing to fall out of the container and onto her face.

"Having trouble walking again?" came the cold voice. She literally jumped onto her mate as little hearts popped all around her head.

"Idiot," he said dropping her onto her ass as he strode out of the room. She followed quickly and they entered a room where a Mongoloid sat in a wheelchair, his bloated head keeping him from standing.

He managed to turn around to face the two. "So, more food?" He asked laughing in a redneck sort of way.

"What, you're gonna get us?" Alex asked skeptically.

"Not me, him," he laughed again and the two were thrown roughly through the cheap wall, or at least Alex was seeing as Jagan-boy had disappeared.

"He…left me?" she twitched angrily as the bulky Mongoloid charged at her. She dodged and kicked him through several walls and outside into the wall of another house, still twitching.

She then spotted Hiei standing in a corner of the room, smirking.

"You! You did that on purpose!" she screamed running at him, he sidestepped and she knocked herself out by slamming into the wall. He picked her up and left the house.

Unknown to him however did the wheelchair one pull out a walkie-talkie.

"Kill the baby," he stated before hearing a creak and due to newly caused structural instability did the house collapse on him.

"Anything?" Yusuke asked Hiei, who had apparently found Alex.

"No," He replied.

"Yeah me either," he sighed. They suddenly heard a soft cry from an infant. Yusuke quickly turned to see a bright red jacket running up the ridge and into the hill; the leader Mongoloid was giving chase.

The two ran after and after a few minutes of the chase they managed to get ahead of the hooded Mongoloid which turned out to be the only female so far seen. And thankfully Alex had waken up to be minimal dead weight, or at least in Hiei's opinion she was.

"Hey wasn't the other one behind her?" she pointed out.

"Oh crap where'd he go?" Yusuke started to look around frantically.

He suddenly jumped back as a spike strip flew down at him, chipping rock from the ground as the leader attacked again having jumped from the ridge above them.

"I am getting really sick of this guy," Yusuke grunted dodging the attacks rather easily.

"We could just have Hiei kill him you know," Alex said having gotten the infant back from the nice Mongoloid and was rocking her slightly.

"No," The demon retorted, also dodging.

She then said something in Makai dialect and therefore the demon ran the mutated human through with his blade, shoving him off the cliff face.

She then laughed nervously as he turned to her.

"What did you just do?" Yusuke questioned.

"Told him that when we get to the hotel that the little 'do not disturb' sign didn't have to go down at all," she replied causing the teen to crack up.

**Later**

"Yay! We're finally leaving!" Alex declared diving into the driver's seat of the not-so-totaled truck.

This meant they could leave but also meant that they had to wake Keiko up, who was grateful to have her baby back, but beat Yusuke for not having objected to having her knocked out.

"Now what have we learned everyone?" Alex suddenly asked.

"Uh…" they replied piling into the truck bed save for Keiko the baby and Yukina.

"That we don't take short cuts ever!" she said sickeningly sweet.

"Hey! This is all Yusuke's fault for taking the short cut!" Sapphire decided and smacked him.

**End Chapter**

Psychic: 19 pages dude! Please review.


	10. The Enma of Oz

Psychicfiredemoness: About time I updated this. And I would like to give a shout out to the Sci-fi channel just cause it jogged my memory of wanting to write this. Yeah, I was watching Tin Man.

Hiei: Get to the point.

Psychic: Whatever Toto.

Alex: I hate you…

Psychic: For your outfit? But it makes sense later!

Alex: Yeah but still!

Psychic: I own nothing.

**Chapter 10 The Enma of Oz**

Yukina woke to find herself in the temple. Bright light was filtering though the door of the living room. She walked outside to see a land very different from the temple grounds.

"We aren't in Japan anymore," she looked up to see Hiei approaching. He looked rather irritated.

"Then where are we?" she asked him standing up and looked at herself. She was in a blue and white plaid dress.

"We welcome you to the merry old land of Oz!" cried a familiar voice.

Both demons turned to see Rinku in outfit that was odd, even for him.

"What the hell are you doing?" Hiei asked clearly annoyed.

"Welcome to the Land of Munchkins! I'm the Mayor here!" he declared.

"And you good lady have crushed the Wicked Witch of the East!" they heard another familiar voice.

Sapphire was standing there in a sparkly blue dress with a star-tipped wand.

"And you have the Magical Sapphire slippers," She said pointing to Yukina's blue shoes.

"We killed someone?" Hiei asked.

"Yes, your house fell on the Wicked Witch of the East," she pointed to Alex's sister who was currently trying to free herself from under the temple, a red witch's hat atop her head.

Sapphire smacked her with the wand. "You're supposed to be dead!"

"Well I will be soon! I can't breathe!" she snapped.

"Anyways, you guys want to go home right?" Sapphire asked.

"Yes, please," Yukina said.

"Alright all you gotta do is spend on night in a haunted house," She said then laughed manically with lightning in the background.

"Wrong line!" Rinku threw an oversized lollipop at her head.

"Ok, ok sorry. You two must go the Emerald City and speak to the great Enma, a wizard. Just follow the yellow brick road and you'll be there in no time," Sapphire was then enclosed in a bubble and floated up towards the sky. "Hey wait I have to give them the warning!" She popped the bubble with the star and fell back to the ground.

She dusted herself off. "What's you're warning?" Hiei asked.

"Oh yeah, thanks for that Toto," she said and the male twitched, "Beware the Wicked Witch of the West!" She was again trapped in the bubble which this time rapidly sped her off to the sky.

"Shall we start then?" Yukina asked her brother. He merely nodded and they started off before anyone could start singing.

After a while the two happened upon a cornfield where many crows were resting on a poorly built scarecrow tied upon a stake. He was trying to shoo them away with his foul mouth and flailing.

"Shoo, shoo!" Yukina waved the birds away, "Do you need help Yusuke?"

"Yeah actually- I mean, I'm the Scarecrow and I have no brains, otherwise I could scare the birds away," Yusuke stated.

"Why the hell do you need brains to stand there? A scarecrow is merely to give the birds the impression that someone is there guarding the corn," Hiei stated.

"…" Yusuke thought on this, "Nope nothing can't think of a comeback without any brains."

"And it's going to stay that way!" cackled a female voice.

They turned to see Alex in a scanty witch's outfit and black hat as she sat sidesaddle on a broom.

"You'll never go home Dorothy! And you're little dog to!" she declared.

"That didn't make sense!" Yusuke declared, "I don't have brains and I could even tell that!"

"Well…I can't remember my lines that great ok!" she fumed and shot the youth with a fiery blast that shot his upper half apart from his body. "Oh yeah, you're made of straw, damnit. Well, it's no matter! You'll be stuck here forever!" She then flew away cackling.

"She isn't a very competent villain is she?" Hiei questioned aloud watching the demon fall from her broom in mid-flight as Yusuke helped reassemble Yusuke.

The three continued off down the brick road eventually coming upon a cabin. Kuwabara stood beside the cabin in what looked to be tin foil.

"A little help here!" he called, "I need someone to oil me!"

"Oh!" Yukina ran over and grabbed up the oil can on a nearby tree stump and squirted his joints.

"Thanks a lot Yukina," Kuwabara said.

"Hey why aren't you acting all weird like normal?" Yusuke asked.

"Well, I suppose it's cause I've got no heart," he sighed heavily.

"You should come with us to the Emerald City to see the Enma of Oz, maybe he can give you a heart," Yukina suggested.

"Really? That's great!" Kuwabara decided.

There was then a flash of smoke and Alex appeared on the broom again.

"Hey I remembered why I can't have Dorothy leave it's cause I need the Sapphire slippers for power…or something," she said, "See you guys later!" She flew of again gripping her broom for safety this time. She fell anyways.

"Is she alright?" Yukina wondered aloud, "We should go help her!" The girl ran off into the woods.

"But she's evil in this dream!" Kuwabara yelled running after followed by the other two.

"I am so walking from now on!" they saw Alex fly off leaving Yukina in an apple orchard.

"I take it she was fine?" Yusuke asked picking an apple and examining it. One hit his face. "What the hell!?"

"How dare you try to steal our apples! Thieves!" cried the trees whom started pelting the group with apples.

In one quick movement on Hiei's part the orchard ceased to be.

"Nice," Yusuke commented as the demon sheathed his sword.

"Who dares to enter my forest!?" cried an angry voice.

"I was wondering when you'd show up," Hiei stated. It was Kurama with a pair of silver ears on his head do to what appeared to be a headband and a silver tail pinned to the back of his pants.

"W-what, you knew I was here?" he asked sounding timid and looked close to tears.

"Are you alright?" Yukina asked.

He then explained to them without use of sound about having no courage and finally the group was complete and thus they headed for the Emerald City.

The large city came in sight several hours later.

"Hey look we can cross this field of- Are those muffins?" Yusuke asked pointing to the field of muffins.

"Yes, Poppy Seed muffins!" came the maniacal disembodied laugh of Alex, "Beware!"

"…Let's go around," Hiei stated.

They walked the rest of the path to the city and entered where they reached the palace of Oz. A large head appeared.

"Why are you here!?" demanded Koenma's teenage head.

"I want to go home."

"I want brains."

"I want courage."

"And I want a heart."

"Bring me the broom of the Wicked Witch of the West and we shall see!" he said and the head disappeared.

They left and soon enough they entered the Haunted Forest or whatever the hell it's called. And just as soon as they had entered were both Yukina and Toto- er, Hiei abducted by flying Chihuahua's! How is that possible? It's the magic of Hollywood!

"Haha! You are both now in my clutches! You have no hopes of escape- hey what the hell are you doing Hiei!?" Alex screamed as she was thrown over the demon's shoulder.

"Where are you going oniisan?" Yukina asked petting the many Chihuahua's.

"To negotiate," Hiei replied kicking the doors to a bedroom open.

"Oh, then this shouldn't take that long," Alex remarked briskly and was shot a deadly look by the male.

**Elsewhere**

"Alright," Yusuke said in a guard's uniform, "Which door do we take?"

He and his friends stood in a long hallway with several doors lining the walls.

"Let's just check all of them," Kurama sighed.

After checking every door they realized they only needed to take the stairs up to find the Koorime happily playing with the winged dogs.

"Are you ok Yukina?" the boys asked. She nodded happily.

"Although Hiei's been gone an awfully long time," she sounded worried.

"Really where is he?" Yusuke asked.

"He took the Witch into that room to negotiate," she stated.

Just then the two yokai exited the room, Hiei carrying the broom.

"It's the Witch run!" Yusuke threw a bucket of water on the blonde.

She twitched angrily and held out her hand to the demon beside her as she dripped. Hiei handed her the broom and she proceeded to beat the Scarecrow with it.

**Oz's Office**

"Ah you've done well to get this, well not really seeing as Hiei knocked up the epitome of all evil in the land," Koenma explained darkly taking the broom and handing it to Jorge who started sweeping. The males of the group all stared at Hiei who had turned slightly pink.

"Hn," he grunted, "Just take us home."

"Oh yes you're rewards," Koenma said and turned to Kurama, "Lion-"

"Fox," Kurama corrected.

"Close enough, you've proved your courage in going to save Yukina," he turned to Kuwabara, 'Search your feelings as you look upon the girl."

Kuwabara turned to Yukina and hearts started to pop around his head.

"Ah Yusuke," he turned to the Scarecrow, "There's nothing I can do for you seeing as stupidity is terminal."

"What!?" fumed the teen.

"Um, can we go home now?" Yukina asked.

"Oh yes. Yukina tap your Sapphire slippers together three times saying 'I wish I was home'," he instructed before turning towards Toto, "You however have to go raise your family now."

Hiei twitched when he shot up to find himself in a familiar living room.

"So you finally woke up eh?" Alex asked sitting at his feet as she stared at the credits rolling by of the dreadfully boring and musically inclined movie that had been on.

He stared at her suspiciously. "Are you pregnant?" he asked recalling Koenma's less than subtle remarks.

"No why- What were you dreaming about you pervert!?" She shrieked.

**End Chapter**

Psychic: Hehehe, I enjoyed writing that. I hate the movie, truly I do.

Alex: I still hate you…

Psychic: Yes because Hiei had foul thoughts and dreamt you in sluty attire. I get it. Well I hope everyone enjoyed. Unless someone reviews saying something like 'oh you ruined such a masterpiece you shouldn't be allowed to bash something so great!' I'll be pissed then.

Alex: Beware! I mean, review!


End file.
